Zeke,
My husband has a lifelong aversion to cheese. He’s not allergic to it, he just doesn’t like it. He won’t eat anything with cheese in it—unless he doesn’t know there’s cheese in it. You see, about a year ago we went out to eat and he ordered tiramisu for dessert, and he loved it. Since then, he’s been ordering it whenever he sees it on a menu. The problem is, I just found out that tiramisu is made with mascarpone cheese, but my husband still doesn’t know. Should I tell my husband about this and ruin tiramisu forever, or should I keep this information to myself, even though I’d basically be lying to him?
From Zeke:
This here is a no-brainer—you keep lying to him. If you love your husband, you should lie to him to make sure that you don’t upset him. How’s he gonna feel if he finds out he’s been eating cheese this whole time? And you’re gonna ruin his favorite dessert for him. He’s never gonna eat tiramisu again. He may never eat dessert again. In fact, he may start seeing cheese everywhere and stop eating altogether. So you should keep lying if you love your husband.
Now, if you can’t stand your husband, you should also keep lying to him. Any time he makes you hot under the collar, you can feel better knowing that he’s making a fool of himself with his tiramisu. Better yet, when you two are feuding you can look like the peacemaker by going out and buying him a slice of his favorite tiramisu.
Anyway, your husband may already know about the cheese but doesn’t want to admit it, and he may know that you know, so he’s really counting on you to keep lying so that you can both keep lying. That’s the secret to a healthy marriage!