Zeke,
My family and I have been living in a rented bi-level house for the past five months. It’s a decent house overall, but the downstairs living room smells so musty that no one wants to spend any time down there, and my wife and I won’t let our 5 year-old son play in a room that (we think) may have moldy carpet. The fact that we seem to be living with unhealthy air is very upsetting. It’s also upsetting that we’re paying rent to use that living space and we can’t really use it. We’re also concerned that everything we keep downstairs, especially the furniture, will be ruined by the stink. I’ve asked the landlord to replace the carpet, but he says he won’t. He won’t even admit that there’s a smell and has hinted that I’m just scheming to get new carpet. The truth is that I really don’t care about the carpet, what I want is clean air, but the landlord stubbornly refuses to address the problem. What should I do?
From Zeke:
I’ll tell you what you do. The first thing you do is go out and buy yourself two electronic air purifiers, and make sure they have HEPA filters. HEPA filters are made of a fibers that tiny particles will stick to, like flypaper for mold. You take one of the air purifiers and put it in your downstairs room and let it run continuously. It may take a week or so, but the stink will go away. These HEPA filters are used all the time in homes but they’re also in hospitals, laboratories, big factories. They’re industrial. They can get the stink out of almost anything. Once you got your first air purifier set up, then get the second air purifier, take it over to the landlord’s house, and tell him to stand next to it and see if the stink goes away. HEPA filters can get the stink out of almost anything.
The first scenario of how this will play out is that the landlord will get the point that you’re trying to tell him. That’s the best outcome—you get clean air, the landlord looks like an ninny. In scenario two, the landlord might not get the joke or might not want to get the joke. He might act like you’re just giving him an air purifier, maybe as a present to show your appreciation for him not replacing the carpet. And next time you need something fixed, he might hold out for another gift, like a new refrigerator. In this scenario, you get the clean air, but the landlord gets new appliances, which you paid for, in his own house.
Now, scenario one is most likely to happen, but who knows? Sometimes the dumbasses win.